Title:	The Legend Fable Ballad Rhapsody Dirge Reverie Enlightenment Awakening Defilement Confession Peregrination Trepidation Lamentation Upturning Concupiscence of the Golden Sacred Sinful Impudent Improvident Excitable Weeping Inconsolable Ill-Starred Disillusioned Humongous Misshapen Hairy Top-Heavy Lemon-Scented Dragon Mule Cock Buddha Tulip Rhododendron Fig Dreadlocks Burrito Maracas Candelabra Hookah Jug Bedpan Didgeridoo
Director:	Alfonso Chi-Chi Gustave Salmonella Muhammad Mohomet Mahmoud Che Lil' Lenin Snoopy Jake "The Snake" Tatiana Star-Child Evita Umberto Wen-ho Cuba Libre Condoleezza Daddy-O Rev. Al Abbas al-Bismati Chang Ecbetana El Bandido Vajpayee Fango Nkomo Iglooloo Washington McMurtry McMuhammad Welby M.D. Viagra Smithwick-Brandt Sackville-West-Yothers Titsmacker de Cosmos The Undaunted [who has only one name, as is customary in his/her land]
Released:	2002
Running time:	95 121 185 312 7.5 minutes.

Synopsis: In this debut feature from Afghanistan's Chechnya's Nunavut's Venezuela's Sri Lanka's newly-independent East Timor's the Federated States of Micronesia's the Palestinian Authority's the Yanomani Indians' the Congolese People's Liberation Army's most renowned director poet avant-gardist provocateur pornographer political activist revolutionary idealist ex-dictator Unitarian , a wide-eyed plucky deeply religious mentally handicapped wise-beyond-her-years scrawny pinheaded harelipped tubercular bisexual sweatshop worker orphan girl organ-grinder ballet dancer music lover mime-in-training sewer dweller landfill scavenger double amputee miscellaneous sufferer , oppressed by her alcoholic abusive petty criminal sex criminal materialistic fast food addicted Mormon Taliban Republican slave-owning father mother wicked stepmother conjoined twin priest mullah village chief factory owner gymnastics coach culture , undergoes a desperate nightmarish psychedelic humiliating degrading stomach-churning mind-numbing baffling metaphorical really, really long journey descent immersion initiation odyssey into the seedy underworld of drug trafficking human trafficking human organ trafficking prostitution child prostitution pornography child pornography Three Card Monte tattoo fetishism Ukrainian Easter egg making . Victimized by corrupt policemen hypocritical clergymen the longshoreman's union sinister CIA operatives white men in SUVs pharmaceutical companies capitalism the military-industrial complex the very existence of Israel Harvey Keitel in a cameo role , our heroine endures repeated beatings rapes forced head-shavings purple nurples uncomfortable family dinners before finally fleeing to the desert jungle mountains snowy wastelands ocean floor , where she is adopted by a group of spirited Gypsies quirky circus folk dour millennium cultists Rastafarians snake handlers nudists Pygmies (or as they prefer, Twa Peoples) United Nations goodwill ambassadors peace-loving Native Americans nomads attuned to the rhythms of the earth and experiences love and political awakening with a kindly fiery lean but muscular dreadlocked pot-smoking violinist painter Sufi mystic aid worker beekeeper Tibetan monk deaf-mute blind beggar Wal-Mart greeter suicide bomber . Awarded the Best Bleakest Longest Most Earnest-But-Inept Least Objectionable Feature prize at the 2002 Yerevan International Rotterdam Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Ralph Nader UNICEF Social Justice Kraft Dinner Invitational Film Festival, this breathtaking heart-rending well-meaning never-ending deeply depressing movie will change the way you look at poverty religious fundamentalism US foreign policy the role of women in society lepers, dwarves, etc. . --for Anne R.

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