Strident smoker
How I long to meet you
I don't even know your name
But once I overheard you saying
That anti-smoking laws
Are some kind of fascist plot
And I got a little shiver
Though I don't give politics much thought

Strident smoker
I've been waiting for you
You seat yourself one table over
Close enough for me to smell it
When you take a drag
And blow a smoke ring out your nose
But I suppose you'll never notice me
In my cheap, ill-fitting clothes

How I long to infiltrate your well-dressed smoking crowd
But you're far too cool
And I'd never be allowed

Strident smoker
Strident smoker
My name's Mike, I'm pleased to meet you
Have I got a light? You know, I think I might
Hold on

And I can't see
Why I can't send you flowers
I don't see who it harms

But all the same
I will not send you flowers
I don't want to raise alarms

But I can slide
My chair a little closer
Maybe brush against your arm
Yeah, brush against your arm

Strident smoker
I can hear you wheezing
Sounds like an angel singing
Don't you even look around you
When you stride in here
And sit right down at table three?
Don't you see me over here at table four
Staring at you recklessly?

Just sitting at the table with your well-dressed smoking crowd
You've never looked up once
You're too busy smoking up a cloud

Strident smoker
Strident smoker
My name's Mike, it's nice to meet you
Have I got a light? You know I think I might
Hold on

Just sitting at the table with your well-dressed smoking crowd
With your well-dressed smoking crowd
Just smoking up a cloud
Smoking up a cloud
Smoking up a cloud